The pretentious world

In school, we are always questioned about the social media’s advantages and disadvantages especially in our field, journalism. But then, as I’ve observed and realized deeply, one thing is true. It is rare to see in social media a true person. YES, social media is a good tool to share ideas, to be informed,  to communicate and so on and so forth. But in internet, a powerful medium, a famous person’s posts, statuses, videos, pictures, can be filtered. In internet, everybody can be fake. Everybody seems to be a good person,  an intelligent one,  a gorgeous hot looking girl or guy. [I’m not yet talking about posers okay? If you know what I mean]  Well in reality, they’re just mimicking what they see from their idols.  Of course, I also went to that stage, I tried copying my idol’s fashion wears but that’s it.  I’ve had enough. That was not me. Like how would I inspire others if I’m also be trying to be them? I’m the type of person that always want to standout in a crowd. I was born like that. Another thing, the number of likes, followers, and views doesn’t determine someone’s worth. It may sound cliché already but it’s true. I’m proud to people who are such an amazing and wonderful persons in real life and in social media world. Social media is not the real world okay? It is not permanent. Once the world ends, you’ll not get saved because you are famous in social media or you have a lot of subscribers. Everything you see from it may get either get you happy, inspired, frustrated or lonely. Again, it depends on you. It depends from how you intake it. You know, I got to a point I deactivated my Facebook account ’cause I don’t get much likes in my posts and pictures. I also feel some inferiority and tend to compare my life to my facebook friends. But then as I realized, this is bullsh*t. Some of those people just look so cool ’cause of their hundreds and thousands likes. Yet in real life, some of them might be just bunch of plastics and stupid people. So it is important to uphold good values and traits in real life so that when you become a part of social media world, you’ll inspire others in a good way, you have your own identity, and you don’t have the need to impress others. –

A Gift or A Curse?

Over thinking is a talent which most of emotional-sensitive people has, like me. But for some, The word overthinking means overreacting. But unlike the others, I feel different when I overthink. Like sometimes I think of myself as an expert in overthinking. But then, time to time, I ask myself, is this a gift or a curse? What if I wasn’t born like this? What if I don’t tend to think deeply about things,  about life?  What if I’m just like Dory in Nemo? (Yeah good example) You see, like Nemo says, Dory doesn’t think. She just does.  But let’s be realistic. Dory is an intelligent fish. Her life is different than ours. If I’ll be like a go-with-the-flow person, how am I supposed to think right before I do something? What if I looked like a stupid person to someone else? (Oh I feel this part is coming from overthinking again, CRAZY RIGHT?) You know, what I see good from overthinking is that you’ll be able to think and choose what to do and what to say, you’ll be able to foresee the consequences and future situations you will be led at. And you will be surprised, all that you were thinking from the start were right! But then, there’s also a negative side. Emotions could eat you alive. You’ll get depressed and frustrated easily. I think of overthinking as of “what you think is what you’ll get.” When you think of catching all the negative vibes around you, you’ll get it. But if you think that all that surrounds you and what is happening in your life no matter what are they are blessings, then good things happen. A human’s mind is a power. We are the masters of our own mind. We can choose how to use this power in a good or bad way. Whatever you put your mind into it, the one who benefits that is still the person. Overthinking is both a gift and a curse, like any other things. –

Adulthood is for real

Five years ago, I dreamed about settling in my 20s. I’ve been always focused in my life and what would I want to achieve since I was young. Like, “at the age of 18, I will be like this and that” but I never knew the things that would come in my way. I got curioused (I’m a curiouser type of person really), I fell in and out of love,  I’ve been drained emotionally, I got depressed wo much. I felt like I was in a wrong path for a long time. And as the time goes by,  I woke up one morning full of questions like “What just happened?” “What did I do?” “Where am I in this point of life?” “What did I gained doing those things?” “How about my dreams, my plans, my family?” “Where is my old self?”. You know, I felt like I’ve wasted five years of my life, fighting inside the words in my head, (or maybe more than five years including my teen years) fighting what would others think about me, fighting my inferiorities and insecurities… Etc. But the thing is, I didn’t see my parents was helping me since the start and I didn’t got the time to appreciate that. I became a rebel before. I disobeyed them. I was a rule-breaker.  I thought that they didn’t want to support my happiness and what I really want, to the point that I hated my own parents. But now I realized that, that wasn’t really the things I want and what should I achieve. They knew I could achieve more and BE MORE ’cause that what they’ve seen in me when I was young. A goal achiever, a big dreamer, a limitless thinker. And when I got freed out of those toxicities, they were right. I was living in a wrong direction. Now I see those realizations that my parents always wanted the best for me. I’m so lucky to got out of that kind of life ’cause now when I see my classmates and schoolmates before, I feel like I’ve progressed well than them. Yet, of course sometimes. I couldn’t keep thinking impatient ’cause what I’ve planned when I was 15 is really different than now. I do compare myself to the young kids out there, living now their dreams and getting recognized, while that’s been also my dream when I was in their age. And now, I sometimes say, “oh please can I be 20 forever and ever?” Hahaha. Like I want to also do the things that I want while I’m still young! But I believe, God has bigger plans for me. He knows what I want. And I feel like He just wants me to help also myself and be a risker to achieve those things. He wants me to get out of the box I’m livin’ on for a long time and be wild free. I want to believe too that it isn’t too late to what should I become.  I want to believe that there’s a bigger picture out there, destined to be me. Everyone has a purpose. They just have to figure out for themselves of what really they are. –